Be proud of your dwelling

As a space alien and Ascended Master of the luminous and radiant variety, I love human basement dwellers. For starters, they are the only ones who can communicate with my space ship! They are also pretty good at understanding concepts such as "Quantum Ether Displacement", "Wormhole Gravity Zero Effect" and "Quango Death Rays".

Unfortunately, they are still about 10,000 standard galactic years behind on issues such as The Great White Brotherhood, The Council of the Elohim and the Urantia Book, instead preferring some strange old religion known as "atheism" or "libertarianism", but hey, I've seen worse (you have no idea how it looks like on Neptune, I mean I've spent aeons trying to red pill *those* guys).

If the normies could just go down in their childrens' basements, they might actually learn a thing or two. In fact, I'm even quite good at baking bread and making cookies, a skill I picked up while being quantum ether displaced at Havona in the geographical center of eternity. Keep up the good works in your basements and be proud of your role in the Bigger Karmic Scheme Of Things.

Commander Ashtar, end of transmission.