Krokodiltårar

 

Fria Tider är alltså pro-ryska. Trots karolinen i sajtens "tidningshuvud". Så varför bryr *de* sig om huruvida Sverige försvaras i Baltikum eller i Norrland? I båda fallen kommer lede fi att vara Gårdarike, eller hur? Fast FT kanske är rädda för att Amerikatt tänker ockupera malmgruvorna i händelse av nytt nordiskt storkrig...   

"Norrland utan försvar i händelse av världskrig"

The greatest story ever sold

 

Credit: Gage Skidmore

Some weeks ago, I spotted something peculiar in an otherwise very “serious” and “official” bookstore: an occasional magazine about Donald Trump, with yuge and amazing photos of same. Leafing through it, I even noticed pics of the Q Shaman. And, the strangest thing of all: the text is in Swedish?! At first, I took no action, but on second thoughts, I returned to said bookstore and picked up a copy for 140 kronor. 

The magazine-like publication is simply titled “Donald Trump” in the Swedish edition, which is published by a Norwegian outlet and printed in Latvia. The original is British: “Story of Trump” by Future Publishing. The publication year is given as 2024, but I don´t see the exact date. However, on internal evidence, it must have been in May or June. Joe Biden was still the Dem candidate, and neither the RNC nor the DNC are featured. However, the Swedish edition actually states in a photo caption that Biden is no longer running, but without mentioning Harris! There is nothing on the assassination attempts.

I admit that I only read a few pages of this peculiar mag, translated to somewhat artificial Swedish. The text seems remarkably “objective”, suggesting that “Story for Trump” is intended for a very wide audience. If it works is perhaps another matter – surely almost nobody wants an “objective” look on Trump? 

The magazine follows Trump´s career, expounds on his celebrity status, and (of course) his presidential campaigns. The storming of the Capitol is prominently featured. The photos are good, including some pretty bizarre ones from J6 (the Q Shaman wasn´t the only weird character present). Almost worth the entire price of this strange product…

The greatest story ever told? Or at the very least, sold.

Over and out!   

Baptist Babel

 

I admit that I never heard of most Protestant groups mentioned on this YouTube channel, and I fancy myself as having a good "working knowledge" of essentially everything...

I mean, what is a "Progressive Primitive Baptist"? Or a - wait for it - Episcopalian Baptist? That´s such a concept. 

But sure, I´ve heard of the Southern Baptist Convention before. Of course! Also Independent Baptists (Henry Morris?) and Landmark Baptists (no idea why). The combo of Baptism and charismatic Christianity also sounds familar. Örebromissionen in Sweden? 

Will the real Baptists please stand up? 

Internationellt vatten

 

"Lake NATO"-memet var visst inte så lyckat...

Fartyget utanför Gotland kopplas till rysk oligark 

Här tankas ryska skuggflottan

Baltic Caucus

 

- You have to come back, old man,
the Russians have a nuclear-powered cruise missile!
We need your vast scientific knowledge to stop it!
- Not a chance, I´m going to attain Rainbow Body instead...

A breaking story. Most of the GOP don´t seem willing to spend more money on Ukraine. Is this another faction trying to put pressure on the quasi-isolationist House Republicans? 

According to Wiki, Mike Turner (also GOP) has connections to the US military and NATO. He is also a de facto lobbyist in Congress for the Baltic republics! I had no idea there was a bipartisan House Baltic Caucus?! 

So the answer seems to be "yes": Turner is absolutely attempting to influence the other GOP Congressmen in a more pro-Ukrainian direction.

What´s much less clear is what the Russian threat could be. Could it be some kind of AI capability? My guess would be nuclear-powered cruise missiles, since even a certain Mr Trump considered them a threat, even to the point of bragging that the US might have something similar...

Developing.  

House Intel Chairman announces "serious national security threat", sources say it´s related to Russia

The Mother of the World

 

I´ve written about Nicolas Roerich before, most notably in my review of "Red Shambhala", but the link below contain some information I haven´t seen before. For instance, that Roerich´s wife Helena Shaposhnikova played a central role in Agni Yoga. Not just in its leadership structure, but also in its actual teachings. Helena was "the Mother of the World" and a cosmic savior-figure! Today, icon-like paintings of Helena Roerich are used in some Agni Yoga groups. Agni Yoga (alias Living Ethics) is the strongly sectarian Theosophical group founded by the Roerichs. I assumed they had cordial relations with Adyar, but it seems the opposite was the case. 

The similarity between the names Roerich and Rurik always struck me, and the legend of Roerich´s ancestry from the old Viking founding father of Russia is apparently an important part of Agni Yoga´s message. It also stresses Helena Roerich´s aristocratic ancestry. In Latvia, where the author of the linked article carried out field work, there are several Roerich groups. The reason? It seems the *real* ancestry of Roerich is Balto-German...

For some reason, the author doesn´t tell us about the current political orientation of the Roerich groups. Too hot? Are they pro-Putin, Latvian nationalists, or what? The author does claim that Raisa Gorbacheva was a supporter of Agni Yoga?!

Still, an interesting contribution. Note the references at the end of the essay!    

Agni Yoga/Living Ethics

NATO önskar god jul

 

Från oss alla till er alla: NATO önskar en riktigt god jul! Gav just uttrycket "War on Christmas" en helt ny innebörd... 

The guns of January

NATO members Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania will ship US-made weapons to the Ukraine. Estonia also wants to send German arms, but needs the approval of both Germany and Finland (the latter being a non-NATO member). 

This is probably as far as the Western alliance can go without actually sending troops to aid the Ukrainian government against a Russian invasion attempt. Will probably not be tolerated by Putin anyway. 

Things are getting dangerously close to a war.... 

Baltic nations to ship US weapons to Ukraine

The Russian bear hibernates no more

Russia is in effect demanding that the United States dissolve NATO. Note the (probably deliberate) ambiguity concerning Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania.

It´s good to know that the US administration and military are in such capable hands. Absolutely no need to worry! 

Russian draft proposal for treaty on security guarantees with the United States

Nationellt självbestämmande

Dick Harrison med en oväntat "baserad" tagning. 

Röda Armén drevs bort i våldsamt frihetskrig

Waffen-SS soldiers on the right side of history?

Did you know that retrained Waffen-SS soldiers guarded the Nuremberg war trials? Probably not, and neither did I. This YouTube clip tells the weird story. 

It turns out that the Waffen-SS units were Estonian and Latvian, mostly the former. At least some of their members hadn´t volunteered for service in the Nazi German military. This provided the United States with a suitable loophole to pardon all Baltic Waffen-SS soldiers stranded in the Allied occupation zones of Germany after World War II. Some were then retrained by the Americans to guard the premises in Nürnberg where the war trials were held. The fact that the ex-SS fighters spoke German was an important reason for the assignment. Another reason was that many American soldiers had either been sent home or were needed at other locations in Germany. 

My main problem with this clip is the monotonous voice of the narrator, which makes my ears almost hurt after a couple of minutes! 

But that´s me.

The fall of the House of Sweden

“Stormaktens undergång” is a book in Swedish by history professor Dick Harrison, who has been extremely productive lately. Not another month goes by without Harrison releasing a new title, it seems. No hard feelings, by the way. I kind of like his short books, both because they are easier to read than his usual tomes á la doorstopper, and because they seem to contain almost as many facts as the longer ones!

“Stormaktens undergång” (The Fall of the Great Power) deals with the reign of two Swedish kings, Karl XI (reigned 1660-1697) and his son Karl XII (reigned 1697-1718), sometimes known in English as Charles XI and Charles XII. In 1660, Sweden was a great power in northern Europe. In 1718, the great power had already started to unravel after Swedish defeats in the Great Northern War, and Sweden would soon become a relatively weak nation politically and militarily, although still prominent in other ways (most notably science). Harrison tries to tell the story of the unraveling, and since both Karls were virtual dictators, in this particular case “the history of Sweden” really is “the history of its kings”. However, Harrison has decided to concentrate on politics and wars, rather than on the personality traits of the two monarchs. This may be a weakness in the narrative. Judging by other accounts, the individual idiosyncrasies of Karl XII in particular were very important.

I previously reviewed Bengt Liljegren´s “Karl XII: En biografi”. It´s interesting to compare Liljegren´s take with Harrison´s. I was somewhat surprised that Harrison (a left-liberal pacifist) is so understanding towards Karl XII, the warrior-king par excellence. He constantly paints the king´s actions in as “rational” a light as possible. The decision to wage war in Poland rather than to pursue the Russians after the Battle of Narva was simply a mistake, and even the later decision to march on Moscow looked relatively rational at the time, at least from Karl XII´s perspective. Until that time, the Swedish army, often commanded by the king in person, was virtually undefeated. He didn´t or couldn´t know that Czar Peter the Great had reorganized and modernized the Russian military after the defeat at Narva. By contrast, Liljegren views Karl XII´s actions as major strategic blunders from a man with a reckless, adventurist and authoritarian streak, who simply refused to face reality squarely. I have to say that I´m more convinced by Liljegren´s scenario…

Liljegren points out that while Karl XII has usually been hailed by later generations of right-wing nationalists, leftists prefer his father Karl XI. This is probably not a reference to the contemporary left (which seems to think that history began yesterday), but to more old fashioned leftists. I think Strindberg liked Karl XI, and so does that perennial intellectual gadfly on the Swedish table-cloth, Jan Guillou. I already knew the answer to the riddle, but if you don´t, Harrison offers a handy summary (although he never discusses the later representations of Karl XI, nor Karl XII for that matter).

While Karl XI did fight a brutal war in Scania, most of his reign (and most of his realm) experienced an unprecedented period of peace during a time when wars were perennial. Karl XI was realistic enough to realize that the Swedish great power simply couldn´t expand anymore. Instead, he embarked on a policy of credible deterrent or peace-through-strength. This created the seemingly paradoxical situation that while Sweden became a super-militarized state with one of Europe´s best trained armies, it was also mostly at peace. What makes Karl XI interesting is that he decided not to heavily tax the peasantry to finance the expanding state apparatus and military. Instead, he attacked the high nobility, confiscating almost half of the lands owned by this particular estate. Karl XI also promoted the low nobility and the educated commoners, thereby creating a kind of meritocracy. Peasants were allowed to purchase land previously owned by the nobility, and the peasant estate expanded its political influence, especially at the local level. (Nationally, the king was the absolute ruler.) 

Karl XI abolished the last remains of serfdom in Estonia and Livonia, where he attacked both the Swedish and the Baltic German nobility. New cities were established, often to the detriment of entrenched local elites. Thus, it´s possible to see Charles XI as a kind of “bourgeois revolutionary from above”. According to popular legend, Karl XI would often show up in remote parts of the country incognito to help the poor and the downtrodden. In this capacity, he was known as “Grey Cap”. While these stories are myths, it *is* richly ironic that the regime which confiscated most private property in Swedish history was that of an absolutist 17^th century ruler, rather than the 20^th century Social Democrats…

Of course, not everything was well in the realm of Karl XI. His brutality in fighting the “snapphanar” in Scania, a kind of peasant-based or brigand-based guerillas who wanted the region to revert to Danish rule, has already been mentioned. The king was a strict confessional Lutheran, an orthodoxy enforced everywhere in the Swedish Empire. His reign is also associated with witch-burnings, often after the testimony of small children had been procured or enforced, although Harrison believes that the witch-craze mostly took place during the rule of the caretaker government before Karl XI´s legal maturity. Above all, Karl XI was an absolutist monarch who ruled the entire kingdom alone, without the approval of Parliament (although it did rubberstamp his decisions).

After Karl XI´s death, the son and successor Karl XII could use this centralized militarist-absolutist state, where everyone was used to obey “God” and the King, to his satisfaction – with disastrous results. Harrison points out that despite all the hardships in Sweden under Karl XII (about one half of the male population was killed during the Great Northern War), there were no peasant rebellions or other outrages against the absolute ruler – this becomes doubly strange if we take into consideration that Karl XII wasn´t even in Sweden for most of his reign, instead waging wars abroad. Was the dictatorship *that* hard? Were people too weakened by famine, pestilence and drafts from resisting? Or had the population been effectively brainwashed by the Karoliner kings into actually supporting them? Harrison seems to veer towards this latter option…

That´s both a frightening and fascinating thought.

“Stormaktens undergång” is recommended reading on a rainy day, if you understand the recent version of the language of the erstwhile Swedish Empire…

The mystery of Karl XII

“Karl XII: En biografi” is a biography in Swedish written by Bengt Liljegren. The book was published in 2000. Karl XII (or Charles XII) was king of Sweden from 1697 to 1718. During most of that period, Karl was away from Sweden waging wars in the Baltic provinces, Poland, Germany or Russia. He was also semi-interned in the Ottoman Empire for several years. The “Great Northern War” ended for Karl XII on the 30^th November 1718, when he was shot dead in Norway during a siege. The Swedish defeat in the 18-year long war effectively ended Sweden´s great power period, Russia taking Estonia, Latvia, Ingria and West Karelia. Czar Peter the Great built St Petersburg, soon to become the Russian imperial capital, on territory conquered from the Swedes (or reconquered since Russia controlled the area before Sweden´s rise to regional great power status). Sweden also lost some of its German possessions, but was allowed to keep Finland, which had been occupied by Russia during the course of the war. Karl XII´s death also ended the first period of absolutist rule in Sweden, absolutism being replaced by a constitutional monarchy dominated by the Diet or Parliament (“the Age of Freedom”).

In Sweden, Karl XII is still extremely controversial, the “great warrior king” being a symbol for right-wing extremism. When I was younger, left-wing radicals and neo-Nazi skinheads near-rioted on the 30^th November every year at Kungsträdgården in Stockholm, where a 19^th century statue of Karl XII is located, menacingly pointing eastwards (at Russia). Leftists and liberals have often pointed out how absurd and anachronistic Karl XII is as a Swedish nationalist symbol. The king ruled a multi-ethnic state, many of his officers and officials were foreigners, and he attempted to create an alliance of Swedes, Cossacks, Tatars and Turks against Russia. Tatars and Turks are, of course, Muslim. Liljegren doesn´t mention the old legend that Karl XII brought the Travelers (a kind of Gypsies) to Sweden. At the same time, the slightly trollish liberal take on Karl XII is another form of propaganda, since it´s just as anachronistic to portray the old dictator as “pro-immigration” or “anti-racist” in the modern sense. Paeans to Karl XII have usually been a right-wing preserve, leftists – somewhat strangely – preferring his father, Karl XI (who created the system the son was defending). In his book, Liljegren describes how the views of Karl XII have changed back and forth over the years, among both historians and the public.

Above all, he describes the actual reign of Karl XII. While Liljegren is admirably objective in his style of writing, it´s difficult not to be critical of the monarch after reading the 442-page tome. Since Sweden was attacked by a triple alliance of Russia, Denmark-Norway and Poland-Lithuania-Saxony, one can hardly fault Karl XII for taking up arms in defense of his realm. However, his concrete way of doing so ultimately proved disastrous for both Sweden and himself. Instead of concentrating on defending the Baltic provinces against Russia, Karl spent years fighting a quixotic war in Poland and then attempted to march on Moscow without due preparations. The Russians decisively defeated the Swedish army at the infamous battle of Poltava, forcing the king to flee south to Bessarabia, then controlled by the Muslim Ottoman Empire. After finally returning to Sweden, rather than counter-attacking the Russians (who had occupied half of the then Swedish kingdom), Karl embarked on two equally weird and badly thought-out campaigns in Norway. The entire reign of Karl XII was marked by famine, pestilence and war. 200,000 Swedish soldiers were killed. At the time, the Swedish kingdom had a population of only two and a half million!

I get the impression from Liljegren´s book that while Karl XII was a brilliant tactician on the battlefield (at least in the beginning of the war), his long-term strategy left much to be asked for. Diplomatic finesse he had none. The young king had a reckless streak, constantly being on the attack (literally), even when diplomacy and tactical retreats would have suited the situation better. With more strategic thinking and planning, Karl might have been able to hold on to the Baltic provinces – or at least to Estonia and Latvia. Some of his wilder plans were never put into operation: Karl XII apparently toyed with the idea of invading Britain in alliance with the Jacobites, and also wanted to establish a Swedish colony on Madagascar in alliance with local pirates! Mostly as a thought experiment, he also developed a new numeral system with 64 as its base, a system defended by Emmanuel Swedenborg (the future Seer of the North) in a pamphlet written mostly to show loyalty to the king-dictator. 

What struck me most when reading “Karl XII: En biografi” was the intractable personality of the king. On the one hand, he was authoritarian, unapproachable, inflexible to the point of obsession, and had a sadistic humor. Foreign diplomats described him as unkempt and extremely rude. On the other hand, he clearly had *something* which made officers and common soldiers follow him and trust him, even to the point of death. Some kind of mysterious charisma? Karl XII always dressed in uniform, didn´t wear a wig and kept his hair short – all three things unheard of among contemporary monarchs and aristocrats. This gave him a “plebeian” look. He cultivated an image of being an ascetic warrior, married to his army. Like many other Swedish kings, he also distrusted the higher nobility as a class, much preferring the lower nobility and the commoners. The king was also something of a religious zealot, which gave him a fatalistic outlook on life - everything was preordained by God, so why worry about failure. Above all, he seemed impervious to suffering.

My impression of Karl XII´s personality type is very negative. Was he a sociopath? Or did he have some kind of autism spectrum disorder? What makes the whole thing doubly disturbing is that his inflexible orders were usually followed meticulously, even by people who knew better. Karl XII´s father Karl XI had turned Sweden into a well-drilled militarist absolutist state – and the son was reaping the benefits.  

That is, until the 30^th November 1718 (or December 11 according to the Gregorian calendar now in use). For centuries, rumors have claimed that Karl XII wasn´t killed by a Norwegian bullet, but by one of his own people. A French immigrant serving as an officer in the Swedish army, André Sicre, was widely suspected of being Karl XII´s assassin by his contemporaries. Liljegren believes that the king was murdered and that Sicre may indeed have done it. Cui bono? The author regards it as extremely suspicious that Frederick of Hesse – who subsequently became king of Sweden – acted so fast after the death of Karl XII, purging the most prominent Karoline loyalists while buying off the officer corps with lavish gifts. And why had the same Frederick only six months earlier issued instructions about what should be done in the event of the king´s death, instructions never before heard of? And guess who promoted André Sicre? Yes, the very same Frederick… 

If Frederick was the main conspirator, the conspiracy failed after his “Hessian” faction had purged the pro-Karl “Holstein” faction. In the aftermath of the purge, the Hessians quickly lost the initiative to a third group, the “men of freedom”, who abolished royal absolutism. Frederick (who was married to Karl XII´s sister Ulrika Eleonora) eventually did become king, but without much effective power. It should be noted that other historians, including Peter Englund, strongly support the idea that Karl XII was killed by enemy fire.

Perhaps the debate will continue for another 300 years…

Still, if Swedish is your first language, “Karl XII: En biografi” does give a good overview of the life and times of the most divisive king in Sweden´s history. And perhaps his death, too.

Symbolism and nationalism

“Symbolism och dekadens” is a catalogue from an art exhibition held in Sweden between 19 Sep 2015 and 24 Jan 2016 at Prins Eugens Waldemarsudde in Stockholm. The theme: Swedish, Finnish and Latvian Symbolism. The point of the exhibition was to emphasize the connection between Symbolism (a late 19th century international art movement centered on Paris) and Swedish, Finnish or Latvian national romanticism. Many artworks considered “national romantic” should really be seen as expressions of Symbolism. Prince Eugen, the Swedish royalty and painter after whom Prins Eugens Waldemarsudde is named, had a Symbolist period himself.

Symbolism is notoriously hard to define, and the painters (or poets, or authors) who claimed the Symbolist mantle never developed a common style. Indeed, this was one of the points of this school of thought, which called on each painter to search within himself (or at least outside mundane reality) for inspiration. Dreams, the subconscious, mysticism, darkness, death – all could be mined by the painter, seen as a prophetic figure towering high above the uncomprehending hoi polloi. The reaction against “realism” in painting led many Symbolists to explore fairytales, myths and wild nature. Here, a connection with nationalist revivalism becomes obvious.

I have to say that I didn't find the essays in this volume *that* interesting, but the paintings are excellent. I didn't see much of them during the actual exhibition – to conjure a “mystical” atmosphere, the exhibition halls were very dark, which gave me a rather nasty headache! There is also a final chapter on sculpture and design. Only available in Swedish.

Hello from Mars

At least for the crazy part of humanity known as "Eurovision fans", this album is a real heaven sent. It features all 26 songs from the 2003 edition of the ESC, organized in Riga (of all impossible places). For those whose post-Soviet geography needs some honing, Riga is the national capital of tiny Latvia at the eastern shores of the equally tiny Baltic Sea. At least from a Euro-fan perspective, 2003 was a good year for the contest.

The main scandals were created by Tatu, the phoney lesbian duo from Russia which requested to perform nude (request denied - it was frivolous anyway). For about a week, all of Europe seriously feared that these teenage girls would do something *really* lewd on stage. Which, of course, they didn't. Their constant attacks on the city of Riga made the local audience boo them, however.

Another classic was Latvia's "Hello from Mars", which apparently was later used in TV commercials for the Mars chocolate bar. Polish Ich Troje, performing an anachronistic peace song in Polish, German and Russian, was another attraction. We also fondly remember the Austrian entry, performed by a comic actor backed by a motionless cartoon cow spouting an electrical guitar! Unless I'm mistaken, one of the Belgian performers wasn't allowed to enter Latvia when it turned out that she was a right-wing extremist with a history of violence. Strangely for nationalists, the Belgian band sang their song in an imaginary language...

There were also a number of super-flops. For the first time ever, Great Britain (the leading pop nation in the world, alongside the U.S.) came last with *no* points. The German entry had completely impossible lyrics, including the double entendre "Let's get happy, let's be gay". While many Euro-fans are gay (there's an entire gay subculture around this contest), something tells me *this* was unintentional. The various ex-Yugoslav copies of Britney Spears (today, ex-copies) were also suitably embarrassing.

But then, it's absurd stuff like this which makes ESC so entertaining, isn't it? ;-)

And the winner is...Turkey!

You're not celebrating any longer, are you now?

This is the official album from the 2002 Eurovision Song Contest in Estonia. As usual, the songs are a bewildering combination of the good, the bad and the *really* ugly.

Everyone who endured this event remembers "S.A.G.A.P.O." from Greece - relatively trivial as a song, but very, very bizarre as a live act. Imagine John Travolta and the other aliens from "Battlefield Earth" performing live on stage! Yes, it's that ugly. Another involuntary classic is the Spanish entry, "Europe's Living a Celebration", a tribute to the Euro and the EMU. Well, you're not celebrating now, are you? Slovenia sent three really boring drag queens - I didn't know a drag act could be boring?! In the ESC, everything is possible, it seems!

The better entries: Sweden, Estonia, France, Germany.

Eventually, the contest was won by the relatively anonymous Latvian entry "I wanna", mostly remembered because the singer Marie N changes clothes about three times in three minutes.

Not sure how to rate this, due to the immense variation of the songs included. Two-and-a-half stars in total?

Vampires are alive

This is the 2007 edition of the Eurovision Song Contest CD. The contest itself was organized in Helsinki (Helsingfors), the national capital of Finland. It was a *very* bad year in Eurovision history. Most of the 42 songs are filler, some being downright embarrassing, such as Ireland's "They can't stop the spring" or Britain's "Flying the Flag". Others are funny, at least if you get the humour: Verka Serduchka's "Dancing Lasha Tumbai" from the Ukraine, performed by a drag queen that really looked like Crazy Frog, flanked by some kind of disco-Nazis?! I suppose DJ Bobo's "Vampires are alive" belong in the humour category, too. If you don't get the rather strange Euro-trash humour, well...

Among the better songs was the obvious winner, Serbia's "Molitva" featuring openly lesbian singer Marija Serifovic. Unfortunately, her choir spoiled the rainbow fun by making Chetnik greetings in front of reporters after the win! Russia sent a hetero version of Tatu, the band Serebro and "Song #1". Belarus had a surprisingly good entry, "Work your magic", featuring one Koldun, but the dancers eventually proved better than the singer. And yes, Sweden tried to bring the house down with The Ark, a kind of pseudo-gay rock band.

Swedish media actually expected The Ark's song "The Worrying Kind" to win, and went bezerk when this failed to materialize. One bizarre theory was that the French entry (performed immediately after the Swedish) looked like a parody of The Ark, and hence made people laugh at the Swedish band?! (I admit that this speculation is plausible, LOL.) A Swedish songwriter who had composed the much-maligned Latvian entry "Questa Notte" was branded a national traitor by the Swedish media, when the poor man's song got more points than The Ark. And so on...

Well, you can't win *every* time, can you? :D

Despite a few good or comic entries, overall this CD is so weak, that I only give it two stars.

Mad hatters

Ha ha ha. Yepp, here it is, Latvia's infamous 2007 entry in the Eurovision Song Contest, "Questa notte". The band, Bonaparti.lv, consisted of six men in large hats singing a pseudo-opera tune in Italian. Geezus, what's wrong with Latvian?

The original songwriter, a certain Kjell Jennstig, was Swedish. No big deal in itself, but Swedish media went mustang when his dud of a song got more points than the Swedish entry, "The Worrying Kind", performed by The Ark. Poor Jennstig was branded almost as a national traitor! At the time, The Ark was one of Sweden's most popular bands and the media actually expected them to win the Eurovision Song Contest - an event notorious only for its unpredictability (and dangerous duds). Of course, Jennstig simply told the crazed press to take a hike.

To be honest, "Questa notte" isn't a particularly good song (The Ark's "The Worrying Kind" really is better), but yeah, when I want to feel provocative and dangerous, I actually listen to these unforgettable mad hatters. I suppose I have to end by saying: Hats off for Latvia, all six of them!

Lost in a Baltic forest

A review of "The Teutonic Knights: A Military History" by William Urban.

The Teutonic Knights was a medieval order of crusaders, active in Palestine, Transylvania and the Baltic region. The order achieved its most lasting success in the latter area. For centuries, the Teutonic Knights ruled a virtual "crusader state" in Northern Europe. At its height, this state controlled Prussia, Livonia and Estonia. The knights waged crusades against the pagan populations of these regions, forcing them to adopt Catholic Christianity, either through the force of arms or through political pressure. However, their powerful state also angered the neighbouring Christian kingdoms, most notably Poland, and the popes themselves. Another formidable foe was Lithuania, originally an expansive pagan kingdom (the last in Europe) which later converted to Christianity. Allied with the Poles, the Lithuanians defeated the Teutonic Knights during the famous battle of Tannenberg in 1410. The crusader state itself did linger on for another century, but now constantly on the defensive.

William Urban has written a dense, confusing and at times contradictory history of these medieval braves. The book is as impenetrable as a Baltic forest. The causal reader will soon be lost among all the pagan tribes, the feudal bickering, and the detailed description of just about every knightly raid ever undertaken. Had I not read a lighter book in Swedish on the Northern Crusades, I would have been completely lost!

The most interesting chapters are about pagan Lithuania, the poetry, art and architecture of the Teutonic Knights, and the so-called Reisen, a kind of manhunts undertaken by the European nobility in the Baltic regions during the 14th century. Urban regards both sides in the pagan-Catholic conflict as equally brutal, but on balance seems to believe that the knights were at least marginally better. By defeating and converting the heathen, they at least stopped piracy on the Baltic Sea and the widespread pagan-Muslim slave-trade in the area. The attempted Polish-Lithuanian conquest of crusader-controlled Prussia after the battle of Tannenberg seems to have been a veritable orgy of rape, pillage and wanton destruction.

A disappointment was that Urban says very little about how the Teutonic Knights went to sea and conquered the island of Gotland (today part of Sweden). I've heard several different versions of that event, but the issue is only mentioned in passing in this military history, which otherwise seems almost bizarrely detailed.

"The Teutonic Knights" is probably a necessary read for hard-line medieval history buffs, but personally it made my head spin...