Trump must mobilize power of Teamster Union, embrace NUCLEAR WAR

It is with great fear, trembling and trepidation, I, a woke Swedish socialist and anti-fascist who believes Minnesota in the 1930´s was the pinnacle of world civilization, have decided to review a work by that most based of all based cyber celebs, the notorious “Bronze Age Pervert” (also known as “Bronze Age Mantis” and “Conan the Bulgarian”).

BAP is easily on the top-ten list of Alt-Right trolls, probably even number one, and forms the hub of a vast Twitter network of ironic neo-Nazis who are, of course, actual real neo-Nazis. When I tried to troll these people some years ago, they mistook my feminist memes showing female fire-fighters with yuge biceps (which I used to demonstrate Gril Power) for “Aryan race warriors” and embraced me as one of their own. Clearly, they misunderstood my ironic use of the term “bugman”. When I tried to demonstrate my woke Antifa credentials by poasting pics of domineering Blaq mothaz from Ancient Afreaka, they took this as evidence for me being a Nilo-Hamitic ally of Malik Obama and Kanye West…

Clearly, trolling on Twitter is a difficult art form not mastered by all Swedish socialists! Still, for the record, I´m on the same side in World War II as Salazar, Badoglio, Metaxas, Mihailovic and (arguably) Pope Pius XII (who was hiding Jews at his summer palace). In other words, the, ahem, Allied side. With that little detail out of the way, I will now get down to business…

As already indicated, BAP is one of the most popular “Alt-Right” accounts on Twitter, no doubt because of the ironic in-house humor. BAP makes constant references to alternative history, conspiracy theory and (of course) body-building. Many of his pics are homo-erotic in nature, while others show half-nude girls in suggestive poses. I admit that the captions are often dastardly funny, bordering on the brilliant. The *real* message of BAP is less clear from his timeline, but there are hints of anti-Semitism, White Power nationalism and Red-Brown blocs. Sexism, homophobia and transphobia are all present (despite many of the pics obviously being taken from gay lifestyle magazines). At the height of his popularity, BAP was actually mentioned by Atlantic Magazine in a surprisingly ironic article on the Alt-Right. Apparently, the dark genius of the Dark Enlightenment, Mencius Moldbug, had tried to troll Atlantic into thinking that BAP was the Alt-Right´s go-between with Steve Bannon in the White House!

People who enjoy BAP´s humor might be disappointed by “Bronze Age Mindset”, the troll´s first attempt to write a coherent politico-philosophical treatise. While some sections are probably ironic, most of the tract is relatively serious, although eclectic and meandering. These are the musings of a layman philosopher. He has even improved his English spelling and grammar. I long suspected that BAP is Russian or Serb, and “Bronze Age Mindset” confirms that impression. Russian or Bulgarian would be my present guesses, but I suspect a Bronze Age aficionado would rather call it “Scythian” and “Thracian”.

So what is the message of the BAP, then? It is strongly vitalist, with the cosmic life force taking the place of “God” in other systems. It is also racialist, with the Whites or Indo-Europeans (or at least their elites) being at the apex of humanity. Or perhaps humanities in the plural, since BAP implies that the different “races” of man might really be different species altogether. (As a side point, I note that the cover art is made by Owen Cyclops, an occultist on the far right nationalist side of the political spectrum.) While BAP is patriarchal and heterosexist, he is also ambivalent towards women and gays (“grils” and “gheys”). On the one hand, women can become domineering matriarchs crushing the internal fire of the young, warrior-prone males. BAP believes ancient matriarchy is real! On the other hand, women are closer to Nature (and hence the universal life force) than many men. As for homosexuality, I´m sure BAP knows that the ancient Greeks and Romans – which he much admires – practiced male homosexuality, including in warrior contexts. He doesn´t mention the Heruli, but maybe next time?

The main purpose of existence is to embody the life force and live life to the fullest, away from the herd and its mundane mediocrities. The ideal is the pirate, the mercenary, the tyrant, none of whom are bound by ordinary standards of morality. The antithesis of the amoral vitalist hero is the “bugman”, the city dweller, the stupid peasant, the brain-washed denizen of the global village. BAP is anti-modernist, but his anti-modernism is rooted in an individualist-elitist perspective, rather than in neo-primitivism, deep ecology or traditionalism. In fact, he is contemptuous of most ancient civilizations and tribes, the sole exception being the “Bronze Age barbarians” of ancient Greece, Rome, Germania and Scythia. I think BAP´s anti-modernism is tied to the fact that high modernity tends to make the warlord and his band superfluous. A strange contradiction in the tract is that BAP simultaneously upholds both the pirate, the refined aristocrat and the decadent. “Bronze Age Mindset” contains supposed real life anecdotes about BAP´s wanderings in red light districts among pimps, prostitutes and low level cops. Perhaps BAP views everyone who is “liminal” and outside the System as somehow better than the average herd? Or perhaps he is a decadent who dreams of being a refined aristocrat with piratical pastimes? It´s also curious to note that his pamphlet says relatively little about Islam, claims that Africans can become temporary allies (because of their barbarity?) and singles out China as the great adversary. Russia is hardly mentioned at all.

BAP´s political advice is surprisingly “moderate”, at least if compared to his barbarian message of burning down the cities and embracing nuclear war (which he has done on Twitter). He believes a nationalist movement should concentrate on cultural rejuvenation, social work and Internet memes. Broad alliances should be built in the here and now, especially against immigration. BAP of course supports Trump. The only “based” advice is to infiltrate the military in order to stage an old-fashioned military coup, presumably along the lines of, say, the Greek junta 1967-74. But even this is a far cry from the Hyborian Age when bronze-tanned barbars roamed the land in search of hueman prey…

It will be interesting to see if the BAP can still claim the mantle of Kekistan Caliph emeritus on Twatter after this foray into semi-serious reflection, or whether he will have to abdicate the bronze throne to some challenger with hotter memes, but either way, “Bronze Age Mindset” was a relatively interesting read and I will therefore give it five stars and a firm Roman salute. Now, let us all go baq and rebuild Swedish welfare state.