Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Great fun, if you take it as parody



One of the cable channels here in Sweden just showed this awful movie, at 2:40 AM. It's 4:30 AM as I'm writing this. Insomnia, anyone?

I didn't expect much of a movie titled "Locusts: the 8th plague" , but I must admit that the movie was even worse than my low expectations.

Unless, of course, you take it as a parody...

A swarm of dangerous, deadly, meat-eating locusts escape from a research laboratory of questionable reputation. They attack and mutilate cows. Then, they turn on farmers. Even later, they attack an amusement park. Naturally, the hungry insects also consume a doomsday preacher who quotes the locust verse from the Book of Revelation! Various special units from Washington are called in, but it turns out that the locusts (who are nicely coloured in red, by the way) are drawn towards their napalm-like pesticide, rather than killed by it.

Only one man can save the world (or is it southern Idaho): the main character of this second-rate horror show turns out to be a vegan freak who only eats organic foods. This makes him immune to the locusts. He promptly sprays the swarm with an all-organic pesticide called All Organic, and presto, the Biblical plague is thwarted in the bud. Pity nobody told Ramses II!

BUT SOME OF THE LOCUSTS ARE STILL OUT THERE...

"Locusts: the 8th plague" has all ingredients that make a horror movie really, really bad. For starters, you can actually see that the locusts are either animated, or made of plastic (red plastic). The fire spewed by one of the special units is also obviously bogus. The locusts kill and eat people so fast, that you hardly see it happening. Many of the actors are worthless, the crook naturally gets eaten by his own invention, and the usual conflicts between the silly officer and the smart scientist are *so* boring. Nor is there any hot love between the hero and his girlfriend (another smart scientist). At least the roaches at the beginning of the movie look authentic, but they are quickly consumed by the damn locusts!

I hope this movie was made as a joke. If you take it with a very large grain of salt, it's actually quite funny. It's what Swedes call "a turkey movie": a movie that's so bad, that it actually gets good!

But they did miss something! All second-rate movies let some third-rate rock band sing an end credit song. This movie had none?!

I mean, I'm sure David Lee Roth or Dee Snider would have recorded a locust song, in case anyone asked them too!

And now, I'm off to bed...

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