Nessie comes to a small town near you

"Loch Ness Terror" (also called "Beyond Loch Ness") is one of those B-movies you either love or love to hate. This time, the monster is a dragon-like version of Nessie, backed up by her hungry hatchlings. To make the plot more compelling to a parochial U.S. audience, the Loch Ness monster shows up in a lake close to the Middle American town of Ashburn. Yes, really! Subterranean passages, you know.

A mercenary crypto-zoologist armed with guns that would make Rambo jealous wants revenge, since Nessie killed his family 20 years earlier. He's backed up by Major Briggs, who escaped in a UFO from Twin Peaks. OK, I made that up, but it's the same actor. The usual teenagers are also involved, but this time, they actually resist the damn monsters instead of becoming brunch. Well, at least some of them do. Good if you're bored on a cloudy summer day, but hardly a classic. Two stars. Three for the idea of giving Nessie American citizenship, LOL.

Like shooting fish in a pond...