Vladmir
Putin (a.k.a. Vlad the Mad) may have nukes, hooded special forces,
vodka-touting pro-Russian separatists, more or less legitimate territorial
claims to Black Sea ports, and enough oil, gas and uranium to last a lifetime
(or at least a U.S. trade embargo).
Don't worry. The freedom-loving nations of Europe (a.k.a. Western Eurasian
Panhandle and then some) have a SECRET WEAPON that will bring Vlad, Lavrov,
Sauron and their hooded minions to their knees faster than you can spell
Llanfairpwllgwyngyll.
We have…CONCHITA WURST. Be 'fraid, Ivan, be very 'fraid, lest we send Ms
Conchie and her wurst on a DRANG NACH STALINGRAD!!! Yeah, really. So you better
evacuate Sebastopol within 24 hours or else…

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