A parody of presuppositionalism

DIALOGUE IN HELL BETWEEN CORNELIUS, RICHARD AND GURU BHUPA

Cornelius: The Moon is made of green cheese!

Richard: That's preposterous!

Cornelius: Science has never been able to disprove the statement. Ergo it can be true. Ergo it must be true. QED.

Richard: Science *has* disproven it!

Cornelius: Really? Have the scientists actually been to the Moon?

Richard: Of course not.

Cornelius: Have you ever been to the Moon?

Richard: Of course not.

Cornelius: So how do you know that the Moon isn't made of green cheese?

Richard: Buzz Aldrin have been to the Moon.

Cornelius: No, he hasn't. It was a conspiracy.

Richard: Preposterous! Virtually all of the world saw Buzz Aldrin walk on the Moon! You are denying the facts!!!

Cornelius: No, I'm not. Look. We all have access to the same facts. We know that a rocket was launched. We know that TV showed pictures of Buzz Aldrin walking around somewhere. And we know that a craft of some kind landed in the sea. Those are the facts. I'm not denying them. I'm merely re-interpreting the facts on the basis of my presuppositions. And my presupposition is that the Moon is made of green cheese.

Richard: And how do you prove your presuppositions?

Cornelius: I don't. Your question is illogical. Presuppositions don't have to proven. That's why they are presuppositions.

Richard: How do you disprove my presuppositions?

Cornelius: Easy. The fact that you refuse to accept my presuppositions, show that you are wrong. Without accepting my presuppositions, you can't have real knowledge at all. In fact, every time you try to disprove them, you end up affirming them, by the very act of disapproval. Ergo the Moon is made of green cheese.

Guru Bhupa: Don't listen to Cornelius, Richard. He is deluded. The Moon is made of goat's milk! That is my presupposition.

Richard: Really? And how do I know which one of you is telling the truth?

Cornelius: Guru Bhupa is a heathen. The greenness and cheesiness of the Moon is clearly stated in the Revelation of Saint Cheese!

Guru Bhupa: You deluded son of Maya! The goatness and milkness of the Moon is clearly stated in the Bhupa Sutra Patanjala!

Richard: I see. And how do I know which one of these scriptures to trust?

Cornelius: The Revelation of Saint Cheese is internally consistent, ancient, has transformed the lives of millions of people, and have never been disproven by modern science.

Richard: But it has been disproven. The Moon isn't made of green cheese. It's made of solid rock.

Cornelius: You are being illogical again!!! Besides, you will never understand the Revelation unless Saint Cheese chooses to make you a new creation by sending his holy spirit in your heart!!!

Guru Bhupa: The Bhupa Sutra Patanjala is true because I say so. And I'm an authoritative spokesman for Lord Kurusita, the author of Bhupa Sutra Patanjala.

Richard: And what is the evidence that Lord Kurusita exists at all?

Guru Bhupa: The Bhupa Sutra Patanjala. Which is true because I say so.

Richard: You are both either ignorant, stupid or insane. Or wicked, but I shan't be considering that. Still, you would make great television. See, I'm making this three-part series for the BBC...

Freely based on Answers in Genesis, Richard Dawkins and Shrila Prabhupada