The Pegasus conspiracy

According to a recent news dispatch from North Korea, the lair of a unicorn has been discovered just outside Pyongyang. As I told you, Chollima (the winged Korean horse) is real, too. Of course, we know him as Pegasus. ;-)

Now, when I search the web for more information on this truly remarkable cryptozoological creature, the only thing I come up with is the following posting at the site "Above Top Secret":

"I'm pleased to announce that the mythical Pegasus is actually "Real". You can find this proof in the book entitled Fabulous Creatures and other magical beings, as there is a letter from CSL to the president on the first page explaining why they have released this type of information. This is confidential and should only be known by those who can be trusted to keep these creatures safe and unharmed. The only thing I'll say is that, they live high in the mountains, near a camp site. Again I'm sorry, but I just can't release this type of information to people."

So people can channel Bigfoot, unicorns and trolls, or ascend with the help of ball lightning and lilac blackbirds, but nobody has seen a Pegasus?! Gee, what's the matter with these people. There goes the New Age. William Irving Thompson and David Spangler were right all along!!!

I mean, there's a talking donkey in the Bible, so why can't there be an army of luminescent Pegasi descending on Earth in 2012, solving the problems of peak oil, peak fish and peak horse? It would be a nice addition to the exceedingly boring modern pentathlon contests, as well.

Yeah, really.