One Man Army

First, some admissions. Yes, I happen to be one of Dan's chattbuddies from the Amazon Religion Forum. Yes, I promised him to write a customer review. No, I never read sci-fi novels, so I'm worthless as a reviewer. Satisfied? :D

Good, let's get down to bizniz then.

Both me and my father are avid watchers of sci-fi lite TV series, such as "Star Trek" and "Doctor Who", but we seldom read SF novels. I got sick and tired of them after the 57th sequel to Isaac Asimov's "Foundation", detailing the fate of Hari Seldon's next cousins somewhere on Trantor (or whatever). I honestly don't know what to say about Dan's short story. I mean, it aint *good*, as in good good, but it aint that bad either. And it's a quite fun read!

Dan, or Daniel J. Neumann as he very formally calls himself on the book cover, wrote "One Man Army" when he was 15 years old in a sudden feat of divine inspiration. At the moment, he is 17. "One Man Army" is set in the 31st century. The Earth Federation, or Representatives of Independent Governments (RIG) as they are officially called, is at war with a race of silicon-based space aliens known as the Surculus. Fortunately, humans have developed a better technology, including a battle suit known as the One Man Army, so the Surculus are kept at bay (well, sort of). For some reason, the One Man Army is only worn by teenage soldiers, who acts as the crack troops of the Federation. Half-way through the novel, humanity makes first contact with another race of aliens, the Barsilians, who agree to strike an alliance against the Surculus.

BUT SOMETHING IS FISHY ABOUT THE BARSILIANS...

OK, thus far the plot. But what about the story itself? I wrote short SF stories myself when I was 12 or 13 years old, and I must say that Dan's better at it than I ever was. The story is pretty good for a first attempt by a 15 year-old (unless all American teenagers write SF? They don't? Good). Nor is the concept bad. It could work in the hands of a more experienced writer, so perhaps Dan should re-write it when he's 35 or 45? It would be great fun to see how he expands the story, especially in terms of character development and message. For instance, the whole situation of the teenage soldiers, who have been fooled into believing that they are orphans. Or the religious message. There is also an unresolved tension in the story between the serious and the humorous. Why do the Barsilian aliens speak a language that sounds like Portuguese? Because "Barsilian" sounds like "Brazilian"? Funny, sure, but hardly in a story about the plight of poor teenage soldiers being sent on a suicide mission. The distraught professor-scientist Alberto is also somewhat misplaced amidst all the dark-side carnage. Please kill him in the sequel.

When I was reading "One Man Army", I constantly kept thinking of the TV series "Space: Above and Beyond" and "Babylon 5" (the first contact with the Surculus reminds me of the first contact with the Minbari). Are these Daniel J's main source of inspiration? But then it struck me: No, it's Robert Heinlein, stupid!!! In many ways, "OMA" sounds like I imagine Heinlein's first attempt at writing may have sounded like. The inspiration from "Starship Troopers" is pretty strong: the battle suit OMA reminds me of the powered armor exoskeletons, the Surculus with their caste system and monstrous looks are like the Arachnids, the rock-hard training on the alien moon is like the MI booty camps, and the Surculus even uses meteorites as weapons. I'm sure many young writers mimick the action of Heinlein novels, but Dan also mimicks his curious politics and absurdism, a quite clever move! Thus, at the end of the story, we learn that one of the main characters is a Mulatto, the United States has been ordered to dissolve itself by the RIG (a typical Heinleinesque provocation that would have made the real Heinlein proud), and Africa turns out to be some kind of superpower. Since Dan's a Christian, he obviously cannot embrace Heinlein's gung-ho form of atheism, however.

Now, did I say that I never read SF novels? I was lying. :-)

Still, I think the story would work better if all humor, both juvenile and Heinleinite, would be excised, and the dark, psycho elements enhanced instead. In the short story, the humans are the heroes, but what kind of civilization would turn teenagers into soldiers, lie to them about their parents, while still spouting the Bible? Maybe I'm depressed or something (as one of my co-workers never ceases to remind me: "You're pushing 40"), but somehow this seems to be the most interesting part of the novel to develop, when Dan himself is pushing 40. Heinleinesque absurdism is great fun - I mean, the United States are dissolved? - but that territory's already been covered.

All things considered, I'm giving the novel three stars out of five, that's quite good, right?

And now, a spoiler. THE BARSILIANS ARE...Just kidding. :D