Hashtag Bearded Lady

My review of the 2014 ESC album.


This year's Eurovision Song Contest (hashtag Join Us) is brought to us by Danish television straight from Copenhagen. The show seems to be an almost exact copy of the Swedish Melody Festival (but less chaotic and with more special effects on stage). I mean, they even stole Sanna Nielsen's "cage of light"! OK, let me guess. The Danes didn't have any good ideas, so they decided to steal ours? LOL.

The performers are the usual blend of the good, the bad and the really silly. Highlights include "the bearded lady" Conchita Wurst from Austria (anti-gay activists in Russia and Belarus already campaign against her/him), teenage twins from Russia who show a lot of skin (nobody is campaigning against *that* - presumably, straight ephebophilia is acceptable all over Europe), Belgium's zany opera singer Axel who pays tribute to "Mother" (yes, his mother was in the audience), the Greek band Freaky Fortune featuring RiskyKidd, who perform on a trampoline, and Sweden's very own Sanna Nielsen who - believe it or not - stays put in one place and actually sings?!

Dare I also mention the hippies from Latvia who were baking a cake, presumably made of all-organic marihuana of best blend quality? It's also somewhat amusing that Belarus (a quasi-Communist state) sent a song in English called..."Cheesecake". Well, at least they haven't legalized hash! Or, I presume, hashtags.

Also as usual, you can't actually see any of this if you only buy this CD. Most of the songs need their respective live performances to really work. As music (or muzak) goes, this was an incredibly bad year, so I'm only going to give "Join Us" two stars...