Going mustang on Mars

SPOILER WARNING!!!

"They didn't find life on Mars. It found them". That's the dramatic advertising slogan for "Red Planet", featuring Val Kilmer and Carrie Anne Moss (a.k.a. Trinity from The Matrix).

The slogan is, of course, bluff.

"Red Planet" isn't excellent, super-exciting or dramatic. But then, it's not that bad either. It's definitely a movie you could watch on a Friday night, especially if you have nothing better to do. (I just did.) However, I don't think it will leave any deeper impressions. Except maybe one: you will suddenly realize just *how* bad "Mission to Mars" actually is! The two movies were released the same year, and "Red Planet" is definitely the better one. Weirdly, "Mission to Mars" seems to be more well known. But then, that movie adapted to the sensationalist speculations about the face on Mars and aliens. "Red Planet" contains no aliens and no face.

The plot revolves around a group of astronauts stuck on Mars after an accident. They have to locate a Russian-built space probe on the Martian surface in order to get back to their mothership. The usual race against time ensues, since Houston wants the mothership to return ASAP. Unfortunately for the stranded astronauts, their semi-intelligent robot Amee has "gone mustang" and launches a series of potentially lethal attacks on the survivors. The team eventually discover life on Mars. The good news: it can produce oxygen and save Earth from ecological disaster. The bad news: the Martian bugs eat people. After escaping from the bugs, the lone survivor realizes that the Russian probe doesn't have enough battery power left to reach the mothership. Unless, of course, he can defeat Amee and steal her batteries. And the killer robot is indeed getting closer...

"Red Planet" also contains some covert propaganda for Christianity, always necessary in an American movie. (Unless, of course, you have New Age propaganda instead!) Have faith, guys. Et cetera.

The worst part of the movie is, ironically, the one introducing the Martian life forms. The scientist crew member calls them "nematodes" (i.e. roundworms), but they look more like the killer cockroaches typical of second rate horror movies. Naturally, they consume the poor scientist alive. Well, if you can't tell a roundworm from a roach, maybe you don't deserve tenure at the University of Mars?

That being said, "Red Planet" is nevertheless a tolerable production. Just don't expect too many magical moments from it.