Who watches the Watchmen?

"Watchmen" is a 2009 American superhero film based on a 1986-1987 British-American comic of the same name. I never read it, and have never been particularly thrilled by the superhero genre. So I wasn´t that excited about "Watchmen" either, but I admit that you might be, if you are into that sort of thing. The film does look, feel and sound like a certain kind of American comic, with exactly the same aesthetics, typical lines (including the pseudo-erudition and the pseudo-hard boiled aspects) and "alternative timeline" plot. The most funny line: the bad guy says "do you think I´m some kind of comic book villain?".  

The original comic was apparently intended as a dystopian parody of the entire superhero genre, and I suppose it worked well enough back in 1986, when people still expected Superman to defend the Amerikan way of suburban life, or something to that effect. Today, every other superhero on TV turns out to be a murderous psycho, so from our 2021 horizon, "Watchmen" is actually quite tame! The same goes for the society depicted. It´s neither better nor worse than the United States actually looked like in 1986. Where, pray tell, is the dystopia? My backyard is probably more scary (and more in need of psychotic superhero intervention) than the alternative timeline United States of "Watchmen"...

The plot is extremely complex (it was apparently even more complicated in the original comic), with constant flashbacks and digressions. The Watchmen are not "superheroes" in the usual sense, but rather a vigilante squad of martial art specialists in funny outfits. Their political loyalties are not always obvious. In the intro, we learn that one of the Watchmen, The Comedian, actually killed JFK! The sole exception to the rule is Doctor Manhattan, a scientist transformed into a god-like being after an accident in a military research facility. Manhattan has genuine superpowers and is immortal (but not omnipotent). In the in-house universe of the story, Richard Nixon asks Manhattan to attack "Viet Cong", something he promptly does, ending the Vietnam War in US favor after only a week of supernatural fighting. Nixon then changes the US constitution (or perhaps disregards it), being elected to a third term. Tricky Dick is a rather typical comic book villain, a trigger happy nuclear weapons aficionado who doesn´t mind half of America to be nuked unless he can destroy the Soviet Union in the process. Other "real" people that turns up in "Watchmen" are Henry Kissinger, Pat Buchanan and - I think - William Buckley. Reagan is briefly mentioned.

The villain (or anti-hero) is a former Watchman turned billionaire, Adrian Veidt alias Ozymandias, who takes utilitarianism to its logical conclusion. In order to end the arms race between the superpowers, an arms race that threatens humanity with nuclear annihilation, Adrian tricks the United States and the Soviet Union into cooperating against an outside threat...by killing millions of people in futuristic bomb attacks, and then blaming the massacres on his old Watchman colleague Doctor Manhattan! Nixon and the unnamed Soviet leader promptly unites against Manhattan (who is of course entirely innocent), while Adrian´s corporation introduces free energy, saves the environment and fills the skies with highly advanced blimps. Er, what?! 

Another bizarre twist is that Manhattan accepts Adrian´s deception (including the mass murders), since the mayhem served the higher purpose of world peace. "Kill millions to save billions". That being said, I admit that I found Manhattan to be intriguing (and yes, I know its superhero comics pseudo-philosophy). The blue demi-god takes the Lovecraftian idea that the universe doesn´t (and shouldn´t) care about humanity to its logical conclusion. Not just humanity, but *life itself* is inconsequential. During his self-imposed exile on Mars, Manhattan points out that the red planet is perfect without life (and without shopping malls), pointing to the strong winds and the intricate geological formations. Indeed, Manhattan is on the way to become pantheistically One with this dead but infinitely creative expanse. OK, I admit I was fascinating. (But of course the idea is illogical, since there is still a consciousness admiring the austere perfection of Mars: Doctor Manhattan´s tachyonic brain.)

Unless I misinterpreted the story somehow, it doesn´t *really* have a happy ending. One of the Watchmen, the hard boiled assassin Rorschach, refuses to accept Adrian´s Machiavellian-genocidal peace strategy, but is promptly killed by Manhattan when threatening to expose the conspiracy. Unknown to the conspirators, however, Rorscharch´s diary has ended up in the "kook file" of a far right newspaper, and its strongly implied that the paper publishes the contents. Presumably, the arms race and environmental destruction will simply re-appear right on schedule when the superpowers realize that Doctor Manhattan is innocent, and that no external threat to all humans on Earth exist...

Perhaps that´s the real dystopia. 

"Watchmen" creator Alan Moore

Credit: Fimb