Here be preferred pronouns

I might write a criticism of this essay later, but for now, I want you to read it just for the sheer fun of the anecdote retold in the first paragraphs. I almost fell from my chair, laughing. It just *can´t* be true, and yet we all know that of course it is. Yes, it´s about crazy "identity politics" in California. How *does* it feel to be a bat?   

"Here be monsters"