This
year (2013), the Eurovision Song Contest (ESC) is organized in Sweden, but not in
Stockholm. Instead, the city of Malmö in Scania has gotten the perhaps
questionable honour of hosting this major pseudo-event. Daft, goofy,
entertaining, crypto-gay...with a cult factor close to 100%, the ESC has it
all. Like everyone else in Sweden, I grew up with this contest and just can't
stop watching it, although I recently managed to cut down my consumption of
snacks and candy associated with the event. Let me also say that the ESC
doesn't really work on CD. It should be watched live on television! But sure,
if you have a really weird taste in music, perhaps the official Eurovision
album might suit you just fine.
Here are some of the highlights this year. The "ding dong" song from Finland, which sounds like sexist trash but turns out to be lesbian propaganda. As a contrast, Switzerland, represented by a band called The Artists Known as Salvation Army. And yes, they really are members of the Salvation Army! Romania, proving that Count Dracula can sing opera in falsetto. Greece, performing a song about the Greek crisis - it's called "Alcohol is free". Armenia is represented by a worthless song written by an ex-member of Black Sabbath. Alcohol is free, yes? Meanwhile, the singer of the Ukraine is carried on stage by Igor, the tallest man in the United States (and, I suppose, the Ukraine). If you listen very, very attentively, you might also run into...Bonnie Tyler. Yes, really!
But, as I said, this works best live on stage. Not on CD. How many stars? No idea. Three?
Incidentally, I'm writing this two hours before the grand finale, and have no good idea who will win the contest. But then, the ESC winner is really an afterthought to the rest of the show...
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