Amazon actually sells lecterns, and as a card carrying Kathedersozialist, I of course had to write a self-ironic comment...
As an officially recognized
Kathedersozialist (officially recognized by the Prussian government, that is),
I use this lectern when indoctrinating young and impressionable American
students in the necessity for an un-ironically historicist-organicist
understanding of societal development, and how this relates to the creeping
bourgeois socialism of Teddy Roosevelt and the American Empire Party. I also
make them admire the German Post Office. (Unfortunately, one of my early
Russian students seems to have developed some really boorish misunderstandings
of my teachings, which I'm the first to deplore.) Above all, I emphasize the
need for closer diplomatic and trade relations between the Second Reich of the
Iron Chancellor and the budding humanitarian imperialism of the fair Republic,
especially in the South East Asian and East Indian theatres. I know the
annoying “proletarian” agitators and mischief-makers Marx and Engels are
condemning me as a “socialist of the lectern”, but I think my approach is more
practical and will lead to fruitful results in the near future…
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