Friday, September 21, 2018

In defense of the lectern




Amazon actually sells lecterns, and as a card carrying Kathedersozialist, I of course had to write a self-ironic comment... 

As an officially recognized Kathedersozialist (officially recognized by the Prussian government, that is), I use this lectern when indoctrinating young and impressionable American students in the necessity for an un-ironically historicist-organicist understanding of societal development, and how this relates to the creeping bourgeois socialism of Teddy Roosevelt and the American Empire Party. I also make them admire the German Post Office. (Unfortunately, one of my early Russian students seems to have developed some really boorish misunderstandings of my teachings, which I'm the first to deplore.) Above all, I emphasize the need for closer diplomatic and trade relations between the Second Reich of the Iron Chancellor and the budding humanitarian imperialism of the fair Republic, especially in the South East Asian and East Indian theatres. I know the annoying “proletarian” agitators and mischief-makers Marx and Engels are condemning me as a “socialist of the lectern”, but I think my approach is more practical and will lead to fruitful results in the near future…

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