Tuesday, September 11, 2018

It's official: Unicorns are real!!!




It's official, folks. Or should I call you comrades? According to the Democratic People's Republic of...ahem...*North* Korea, a unicorn lair has been discovered in the capital city of Pyongyang. Or just outside it? 

Apparently, the unicorn in the lair belonged to one king Tongmyong, who ruled the area between 37 and 19 BC. He must have been a really cool guy! Especially since Korean unicorns are green or blue, rather than white. There's even an inscription saying "Unicorn Lair" at the exact spot. In ancient Korean script, I suppose.

Of course, there's always a chance that the imperialist-revanchist-capitalist media is distorting a perfectly regular North Korean news dispatch about a real archaeological discovery - the discovery of a *purported* unicorn lair, being the signature of said Tongmyong.

Yeah, that must be it. Another obvious provocation against the peace-loving workers' and farmers' government of the DPRK and all progressive mankind!!! I mean, surely the Korean Workers' Party isn't denying the most fundamental principles of dialectical and historical materialism, are they???

Next week: the Chollima is real, too! :P

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