Saturday, September 8, 2018

I don't think so

A review of a T-shirt with the text "Bigfoot hates liberals".

"Bigfoot hates liberals"? Now, now... First of all, that's a shamefaced lie if I ever saw one. Everyone knows that Mr. Big isn't exactly on very good terms with the Three Nephites, so that would rule out any vote for Mormon Romney from his part.

Besides, Bigfoot doesn't have the right to vote, certainly not in the Deep South (one drop rule, you know) where the opponents of Nobel Price Laureate, President Barack H. Obama tend to cluster. Another reason is that the Southerners fear that Biggie might actually prove Darwin's theory of evolution. In fact, many Southern and Mormon communities have standing orders to shoot the pesky primate if he's ever seen squatching around their territory.

The Jersey Devil, the Vampire Beast and the Swamp Monster are all GOP members of good standing. Not to mention the Chupacabra, the only Hispanic to answer George W. Bush's call "Mi casa blanca is su casa blanca".

But Bigfoot? Come on, he'll die of climate change denial. Of course he's a liberal!

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