"The world´s most peaceful religion" (LOL)

 

Me, reflecting on the absurdity of existence 

The Indian religion of Jainism is often said to be the most peaceful religion in the world, and is associated with "ahimsa" (non-violence). So let´s see how peaceful Jainism *really* was during its history. Info coined from Wikipedia, which as we all know is *completely unreliable*. Right? 

Bimbisara (558 - 491 BC):

>>>He was the son of Bhattiya. His expansion of the kingdom, especially his annexation of the kingdom of Anga to the east, is considered to have laid the foundations for the later expansion of the Mauryan Empire.

>>>He led a military campaign against Anga, perhaps to avenge his father's earlier defeat at the hands of its king, Brahmadatta. The campaign was successful, Anga was annexed, and prince Kunika (Ajatashatru) was appointed governor at Champa. His conquest of Anga gave Magadha control over the routes to the Ganges Delta, which had important ports that gave access to the eastern coast of India. Pukkasati, the king of Gandhara, sent Bimbisara an embassy.

Ajatashatru (492-460 BC)

>>>He forcefully took over the kingdom of Magadha from his father and imprisoned him. He fought a war against the Vajjika League, led by the Licchavis, and conquered the republic of Vaishali. The city of Pataliputra was formed by fortification of a village by Ajatashatru.

>>>Ajatashatru followed policies of conquest and expansion. He defeated his neighbouring rivals including the king of Kosala; his brothers, at odds with him, went to Kashi, which had been given to Bimbisara as dowry and led to a war between Magadha and Kosala.

>>>Ajatashatru occupied Kashi and captured the smaller kingdoms. Magadha under Ajatashatru became the most powerful kingdom in North India.

The war between Ajatashatru and Chetaka (both being Jains, apparently).  

>>>The war began. King Chetaka was a devout follower of Mahavira and had a vow to not shoot more than one arrow per day in a war. It was known to all that Chetaka's aim was perfect and his arrows were infallible. His first arrow killed one Kalakumara, commander of Ajatashatru. On the consecutive nine days the rest of the nine Kalakumaras were killed by Cheta. Deeply sorrowed by the death of their sons, the Kali queens were initiated as nuns in the holy order of Mahavira.

>>>As Ajatashatru was moving towards defeat, he practised penance for three days and offered prayers to Sakrendra and Charmendra (Indra of different heavens), who then helped him in the war. They protected him from the infallible arrow of Chetaka. The war became very severe and by the divine influence of the Indras even the pebbles, straws, leaves hurled by Ajatashatru's men were said to have fell like rocks on the army of Chetaka. 

>>>This weapon was thus named Mahasilakantaka, i.e. the weapon through which more than a lakh (100,000) people died. Next, the Indras granted a huge, automatically moving chariot with swinging spiked maces on each side, and said to have been driven by Charmendra himself, to Ajatashatru. The chariot moved about in the battlefield crushing lakhs of soldiers. This war-chariot was named Ratha-Musala.

>>>In this battle, Chetaka was defeated. But, Chetaka and others immediately took shelter inside the city walls of Vaishali and closed the main gate. The walls around Vaishali were so strong that Ajatashatru was unable to break through them. Many days passed, Ajatashatru became furious and again prayed to Indra, but this time Indra refused to help him. But Ajatashatru was informed by an oracle of a demi-goddess "Vaishali can be conquered if Sramana (monk) Kulvalaka gets married to a courtesan."

>>>Ajatashatru inquired about the monk Kulvalaka and sent for the prostitute Magadhika disguised as a devout follower. The fallen woman attracted the monk towards herself and finally, the monk gave up his monkhood and married her. Later Magadhika on Ajatashatru's orders brainwashed Kulvalaka to enter Vaishali disguised as an astrologer. 

Samprati (224-215 BC)

>>>According to a Jain text, the provinces of Saurashtra, Maharashtra, Andhra and Mysore broke away from the empire shortly after Ashoka's death (i.e., during Dasharatha's reign), but were reconquered by Samprati, who later deployed soldiers disguised as Jain monks.

Ahimsa my ass.