Beaver Patrol

 

Credit: The Fourth Way 

The late Winston Churchill is apparently too divisive and controversial, so the Bank of England (sic) will replace his portrait on the five pound note with a beaver. Not sure who would find Churchill controversial in 2026. Neo-Nazis??? 

The trick (of course) won´t work. You can never be Woke enough, and "beaver" is apparently a rather crude sexual/sexist innuendo. Yes, I checked. So the beaver will have to go, too.

Besides, have anyone checked whether the beaver is a "clean" animal, and if so, in which religious communities? Exactly. And aren´t we excluding non-Eurasians by having a *Eurasian* beaver on the five pound bill? Well, at least the next year or so will be entertaining. Until Nigel Farage becomes Prime Minister and puts his Lord & Master Trump on those darn bills. 

Now, *that* might prove a tad bit controversial, methinx!