Prophecy: The Last 15 Years

Can you market and sell failed prophecies, about 15 years too late? It seems that you can. "Prophecy: The next 1000 years" was apparently released on DVD in 2004, but judging by its contents, it was produced already during the 1990's. Sure, whoever is behind this "documentary" managed to predict climate change, overpopulation, peak oil and massive environmental destruction, but that wasn't hard, was it?

The other predictions are laughable: World War III starts in 2004, with Iran, Libya and "The Red Army" (sic) invading Europe. The decisive battle will be fought at Megiddo in Israel - where else? Or perhaps the polar axis will tilt, leading to gigantic earthquakes, with New York City and LA submerged by the ocean? Or maybe we'll be hit by a rogue asteroid, destroying us all? The millennium bug makes a very brief guest appearance. The whole thing is (supposedly) based on the prophecies of the Egyptians, the Maya, John of Patmos, Nostradamus and Edgar Cayce. Did I forget somebody? Ah, Zarathustra!

Whoever made "Prophecy" seems to have stitched together two different documentaries - there are two narrators. The producers have a very strange worldview, claiming that the world was essentially at peace from the fall of Communism to the Kosovo War. Geezus, what about the *rest* of the Balkan Wars, all the wars in the former Soviet Union, the ever-present war in Afghanistan or the genocide in Rwanda?

But don't worry, ye faint of heart, there is still hope. The male narrator (who is oblivious to peak oil) believes that science and technology might still save us, perhaps with the aid of aliens (the luminous guys in UFOs). He also claims that another "turning of the wheel of Dharma" will take place in 2012. The Age of Aquarius might still dawn on us!

On *one* point, "Prophecy" comes eerily close to a real prediction. The Egyptian calendar is said to end in 2001. Nostradamus is said to have foretold the destruction of "the towers surrounding the new city". The documentary illustrates this with a nuclear explosion wiping out New York City. In 2001, Al-Qaeda attacked NYC and destroyed the World Trade Center...

But, of course, this proves nothing. The prophecies of Nostradamus have been reinterpreted post factum for centuries. In senior high school, I read "predictions" based on Nostradamus about France becoming an absolute monarchy during the late 1990's. Massive Muslim invasions of Europe would follow, until Sweden (!) saves the day and drives the wily Saracen back to where he belongs. Naturally, the whole thing was based on a Swedish interpreter of Nostradamus, who apparently also believed that *he* was mentioned in the oracular pronouncements of the Renaissance sage. To the best of my knowledge, nobody *really* predicted post-Cold War history based on Michel de Nostredame.

What surprises me the most is that this warmed-over, eclectic stew of failed prophecies á la Hal Lindsey, Paul Ehrlich, Steven Greer and Pseudo-Nostradamus can still be marketed in AD 2013, shortly after the spectacular failure of another doomsday scenario.

"The guard is tired". Really.